VI
Caliente & Bishop
During my searching, I was invited to join in on two other explorations of promising areas. When I arrived, I intended to do some canyons with my friends, but, after the first day of scouting, I felt a strong sense of disinterest. Part of it was I didn't want to relive the strife that had occurred with the team on our last foray. But, more importantly, I was feeling real fear for the first time in my exploring career.
During the interim between explorations, I had descended a few of the more difficult canyons that are established, and I had gained a new respect for what I could find in these uncharted crevices. I had seen my partner slip a couple times on ground that would not allow a fall, and I was loath to put myself in the same position again.
We did Caliente Canyon one day, but I had scouted that one from the rim and I was confident that it offered no dangerous climbing. The other slots we scouted looked very fearsome indeed, and I backed out of any further exploration for the duration of the trip.
Bishop Canyon was the same thing. I had been in on the initial scouting of the slot and, as a result of what I had seen, I didn't want to go in. Undoubtedly, looking in from the rim is partially responsible for my hesitation. Previously, I had followed on a few and helped scout a few but, after looking into the last couple of canyons, I was more apprehensive than at any other time.
You can go about an exploration in several different ways. We usually scouted the rim of the canyon, finding the escape exits and getting the general feel for the obstacles. Then, we gear up and jump on in. We seldom fix ropes at the drops. Instead we try to spread out a bit and pull the ropes when we're confident that we can proceed to the next exit. The canyons don't always play out as we would like, so we adapt and evolve our style while in canyon. However it works out, someone nearly always scouts from both the rims to see what may be involved, and that may have been my undoing. What I was seeing from the rim was scaring the crap out of me.
Throughout my next Lake Powell trip the trend continued. I was not interested in being involved in explorations, although the opportunity arose on several occasions. With a much diminished pace, the search for the unknown continued. Now my desire to discover something new was tempered with a mellowness that was not evident in the past. My ongoing quest for an unexplored canyon did not consume me as it had before, and my motivation seemed more balanced, if not clear.
