But before we move on... here's Alicia's take on the trip:
Undoom on the Half Dome
Tom Jones/Alicia Scotter August, 2008
What do you do when someone with no financial benefit in your death tells you that you can climb – yup, with ropes and stuff – the Matterdome of Yosemite? This was a significant ante up to my previous goal of making the 16 mile pilgrimage on the Half Dome Day Hiker Chain Gain. I decided to put my newly acquired research skills to work and had some consultation time with A Very Knowledgeable Contact (my climbing buddy Archie) who assured me that the Snake Dike’s technical ease was equaled only by its mental “run-out” horrors. Investigation complete, I accepted Tom’s invitation and went into a state of mental denial. What Mountain?
And it’s SO easy to forget the target of the exercise when there is just SO much to distract you from your imminent destiny: camp grounds that smell like PineSol factories; funny stories from people who have actually SEEN “The Firefall” in the line at the backcountry permit office; kitchy stuff at the Valley Store; and $10 pieces of pie to sample at the Ahwhanee. But, in this Happy Valley of Denial, there it always is: The Dome glowing in the distance.
In The Day, Tom had done the Extreme Thing – The Snake Dike Jihad. But we matched these former adreneline levels with cleverness and credit cards. We took the shuttle to Glacier Point, making the late afternoon saunter into Little Yosemite Valley Campground. Here, I discovered the work niche my boys must have overlooked in Career Counseling Class: Paintball Rangers! Shez, like they would even have to pay MY guys to defend Little Yosemite Camp against maurading black bears! “Volunteering for duty, Sir! NPS issue paintball rations, please Sir!”
LYV Camp was like a strange retreat with bad food, made only palatable by the inclusion of Tasty Bites. We swallowed dinner, went to bed (no Bear Box raids that night), and were up at the proverbial crack ‘o dawn. Unfortunately, in my research effort I had forgotten to discuss the ever-important approach topic. In our attempt to shave off a valuable 10 minutes and beat any Modern Extremists to Our Wall, we took the Swamp Detour, where I promptly fell over a log and gave my already ungirly-lookin’ legs a new batch ‘o cuts. Then came the burned-out forest, the Test Your IQ Cairn Trail, and some serious Lamaze-style breathing practice. By the time we got to the base of Snake Dike, I couldn’t WAIT to get on rope and far away from the Evil Approach Forest.
The climb was a joy, with one serious flaw: absolutely no Girl Privacy Spots. I mean somewhere during a 5 1/2 hour climb, a hydrating girl needs A Little Moment, please! With memories of the telescopes at Glacier Point, this becomes a serious conflict. Anyway, suffice it to say, the big crack after the 8th pitch wasn’t just great because we got to change our shoes…
45 minutes more of Lamaze Breathing topped us out where the multiday wall climbers were just popping up. Apparently an unexpected 4th day on a wall without water can create some serious group conflicts! We, on the other hand, were feelin’ GOOD! A little Canasta game, a few miles down to our digs at LYV Retreat, and - um, um, um - ANOTHER Tasty Bite dinner!
We knew the beer crisis was temporary – Outdoor Retailer was just a day away.
The rest of the story is waiting on The Rave -
Watch those horse signs in Nevada Land, and enjoy the Vaginas!
