Fat Man's Misery - Zion National Park
West Fork of Misery Canyon

Rating: III Class 5 NTB (Wet) **
Season: Spring, Summer or Fall. Except in drought conditions, expect a fair amount of wading.
Length: About 8 hours.
Equipment: Map and compass, 120' rope, rappeling gear, bolt kit, extra slings, drybags and summer wetsuit recommended in all but the hottest weather.
Drinking Water: Carry your own. Water is available for filtering once at the river.
USGS 7.5' Map: Springdale East and The Barracks.
Difficulties: Rappels to 60'. A fair amount of swimming should be expected. Many anchors are very poor and should be replaced or bypassed. This is a long hike in a wilderness setting, and good map reading skills are required.
Logistics: Starts and returns to the parking spot near Checkerboard Mesa.
Permit: Not Required: the technical part of this hike is just outside the Park boundary.
Flash Flood Danger: Moderate. Weather Report available at Visitor Center.

Rumors. We had heard rumors- "Many swims". "Really cold". "Difficult". "Rappels into pools..." So we saved it for a scorching hot day in the middle of summer. Brian and I loaded for bear and headed out.

Admittedly, it had been completely dry for months. So we left the wetsuits in the car, and hiked up the canyon next to Checkerboard Mesa to find our way into the canyon. Long sections of "Lawrance of Arabia" style wide open sandy wash were punctuated by short sections of beautifully carved and blessedly cool narrows. A few rappels. Some interesting ancient hardware. And a big bang finish - a deep, wonderful grotto with a little flowing water that pierces the final barrier to attain the refreshing coolness of the East Fork of the Virgin River. We siesta'd for a few hours and rehydrated, before climbing up the ridge to get back to Checkerboard Mesa.

Service Project: there are quite a few odd and potentially dangerous bolts in this canyon. There are several single bolt rappels off of Star Dryvin (=crap) bolts that really should be yanked and replaced with reliable hardware, or simply yanked and filled (where natural anchors are available). Do not rappel off of single, old bolts - find a different way around or use another anchor.

Getting There: From the main canyon, take Highway 9 toward the East Entrance. There is a large turnout for the classic view of Checkerboard Mesa just east of the actual mesa. Turn around here, and drive back about 1/2 mile. You will be hiking up the obvious canyon to the west (right) of Checkerboard Mesa. Drive back along the road until you can see that canyon, then find a place to park.

Getting to Misery Canyon is our first objective, and requires a good map and the skills to read it. The west fork of Misery Canyon is the North-South running canyon just outside the Park Boundary. It runs south from just west of Pt 6445 on The Barracks map. It does not matter exactly where you drop into the canyon.

Ascend Checkerboard Canyon. Climb up the canyon west of Checkerboard Mesa to a sandy pass. Take the right hand trail down the rough gully on the other side. Descend 1/2 mile to where the canyon flattens out, then traverse left around a smooth round sandstone buttress. Cross a shallow drainage, then the first prominent drainage and ascend the ridge on the other side. Descend east into the Misery Canyon drainage. Access to the bottom of the canyon is blocked by a 200 foot cliff. Traverse the edge right (south) and find a reasonable place to drop into the wash. You are now in Misery Canyon.

Follow the canyon south. After half an hour of traipsing down a wide, sandy wash, the first narrows appears. A short rappel is required to continue. (Don't rappel off the single, ancient bolt. Instead, replace it, or hike up and use one of several sturdy trees in a suitable position). Work through a nice section of narrows, enjoying the coolness trapped in the bottom. The narrows feeds into a wide, sandy wash. Which leads to a nice narrows section. Which leads to a wide, sandy wash. Which leads... you've got the idea.

While all the narrow sections are pretty nice, one in particular stands out as being especially cool. After hiking through 100 feet of sculpted narrows, you discover a nice natural bridge. A 10 foot drop can be passed by tossing a rope over the arch and rappeling. The next 100 feet of canyon require a bit of partner assisted downclimbing and careful jumping down. After a few short narrows sections, the canyon meets the east fork of Misery Canyon. Avoid interesting narrows by heading somewhat left, and find a pine tree with many slings that allows a 60 foot rappel to the sandy bottom of the east fork. The ledges are somewhat sandy and exposed - be careful.

Shortly after the confluence, the walls rise on both sides and the canyon narrows again. A forty-foot rappel is made from natural anchors past a dirty and unpleasant dropoff. Use good judgement here - rumor has it that the canyon is eroding quickly at this location, and any slings in place should be treated with great suspicion. Shortly after this drop, the canyon narrows for the final time, and a little downclimbing leads into a grotto, with a small spring and very, very nice lighting. Climb down through several obstacles and pop out into the sunshine, where an aromatic riparian area indicates the junction with the East Fork of the Virgin River.

This is one of the most beautiful of Zion's canyons. Kind of like a half-scale North Fork Narrows. Clear, cold flowing water forms nice pools (but still requires filtration). Explore up and down canyon at your leisure, however, the canyon downstream is closed at the Park Boundary about 1/2 mile west of the mouth of Misery Canyon.

Getting Back to Civilization: from the Misery Canyon / East Fork confluence, hike downstream about 1/5 of a mile. A sweeping horseshoe bend to the right is our exit spot. The inside of the bend is a grassy / reedy / brushy area, and is pretty obvious. Take one of several trails up onto the grassy area, then climb steeply up a loose gully toward the rim. (A plaque commemorating the Powell Expedition of 1872 is located on the downstream side of the grassy area).

Hike up the gully and onto a ridge, then north toward Checkerboard Mesa, cutting left of the rounded buttress. There are several small trails and cairns in the area that can be followed with some success. Climb back to the sandy pass and back to the road.

Nitty Gritty: 6 rappels up to 60 feet. 5-1/2 hours from road to E Fork; 2-3/4 hours back to road. Reports indicate this canyon often has a lot of swimming through those narrows sections, so be ready for it. Bolts are in bad need of replacement.